Libraries? We Don’t Need No Stinking Libraries!

Good Morning,

Early this morning, the space shuttle Endeavor took off for it’s final mission into space. The only real press coverage focused on the fact that Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords–the one who got shot in Tucson–was there to send her husband off. Much was made of this.

Little was made of the fact that this is the end of an era.

After this mission, Americans will no longer have the ability to ascend into space. Half a century of human imagination will recede into history. All due to budget cuts.

Evidently, the United States can no longer afford a space program. Or SETI (search for extraterresterial life), or the arts, or family planning or public education…

Or libraries.

Yep, that’s right, libraries. According to state and federal authorities, libraries are no longer necessary. Evidently, the populace no longer reads books, nor does it need the score of computers, internet, and community reference materials that a local library provides.  Bankrupt state governments have decided that public school libraries don’t need librarians, unless they are also qualified to teach a traditional class, as well.

Evidently, all learning now occurs in a classroom. As a society, we know that, since our test scores are through the roof, and we are so ahead of other nations (ones with libraries) that we don’t even need to compete.  Local governments don’t see the expense of keeping public library doors open, much less purchasing new books or facilities upkeep.

A local library is one of the last free community resources. It provides books and other media, free internet service–no purchase required–and often forms the center of a community.  My grandmother, the daughter of a dirt poor coal miner, discovered her love of reading at the small local library in a tiny Kentucky town. My mother had read every children’s book in her public library before she was 12.  This carried over. When I was a child, I was taken on a weekly trip to the local Long Beach (CA) public library (Ruth Bach Branch).  No matter how tight things were financially, every time I walked into that library, so shelves overflowing with a cornucopia of knowledge, I felt like a Rockefeller.  I have had–and used–a library card in every city I’ve ever lived in, including my present home of Albuquerque, NM.  I only visit every 2 weeks or so, but check out at least six books every time.  Since I do not have internet at home, the library provides me with the opportunity to write this.

Libraries are used by everyone, but are depended upon primarily by the poor. Many of my unemployed friends correspond with potential employers via library internet. They revamp their resumes with the help of library materials. The library is often the only way for my unemployed couch surfing friends, their unemployment insurance long gone, to even look for work. Their email address is often the only solid address they have.  That and a “throw away” cell phone.  Contrary to what the mainstream press would have you believe, the economy is not recovering and this population of folks with “electronic addresses” is growing.

As a sociologist with an economics minor, I’ve always known that a society values what it spends its money on. So, let’s look at where our tax dollars are going. Corporate subsidies, tax breaks (paid for by the rest of us) for companies to move their workforce overseas, military “aid” in the form of troops and weapons to despotic middle eastern dicatators, oh, and let’s not forget, prisons for nonviolent offenders.

We spend money on these things and consider education, medical care for the poor, and public libraries disposable. There’s even talk of selling National Parks to pay our overwhelming national debt. Meanwhile, the poor get poorer, as does about half of the middle class.

Welcome to the third world.

Whose Royalty is This, Anyway?

 

Good Morning.

A week ago, my good friend Anne invited me to a Royal Wedding slumber party.  We would nosh on all things English, and stay up late to watch Prince William of Britain, et al, marry Kate Middleton, commoner.  As much as I would have loved to spend the time with my friends, I demurred. I had a yoga class that night and had to take my grandmother to an early morning Neurology appointment the next day. I didn’t think much about it. I don’t have access to cable or satellite television so I missed most of the hoopla surrounding the nuptuals. I realized in the abstract–through the odd tweet or snippet of conversation overheard at the gym– that this was a big deal to a great many Americans.

For the life of me I do not understand why.

Don’t get me wrong, I wish the young couple well. I have great admiration for anyone who decides to take the marital leap these days, given the high divorce rate and current global instability. The fact that they will no doubt have children shows a real commitment to the future. So, like the rest of the world, I hope that their marriage is full of many joys, few sorrows, and lots of healthy children.

I just wonder what all the fuss is about.

I understand why the British are happy. Barring some unforseen disaster, this most popular young man will be their (titular) head of state someday.  He’s moved up with the times by marrying a commoner and this couple shows every indication of actually enjoying each other’s company. These are good things. And if the English people are actually comfortable with footing a thirty-two million dollar bill for this shindig, then more power to them.

I just don’t understand the American fervor.

Did we not fight two wars to remove the British Monarchy and form our own government?  We did.  In fact, my ancestors fought in both of those wars. On the American side. And we won.  We shed blood for the right to self determination. To not have a king stealing our riches while giving nothing back.  To elect our own representatives. To choose our own destinies. Even with our public education in a shambles, surely our children know about the American Revolution. Of course they know.  Everyone knows. The problem is that no one seems to care.

Or is there something deeper going on here?

Americans idolize royalty. The Kennedys are often referred to as, “American Royalty.”  One might argue that assassins’ bullets and a series of mishaps prevented us from becoming a de facto monarchy.  Who could forget that, after her recent death, most publications referred to Elizabeth Taylor as, “Hollywood Royalty.”   Real royalty, like William’s mother, Princess Diana, captured the U.S. imagination like few others in history.  Even though she went on international television and admitted to behavior that would have, in the past, found her head forcibly separated from her body.

Welcome to the land of doublethink.

Here in the U.S., we like to think that we are all equal.  Our whole society is built upon the concept.  “One man one vote!”, “No taxation without representation!” Our majority supports civil right, women’s rights, animal rights, children’s rights, everyone’s rights.  We like to think that we are a truly egalitarian country.  Truth is, we aren’t. And we really don’t want to be.  As our deep relationship with right wing politics and Fundamentalist Christianity indicates, Americans like having a Big Daddy–either in the form of Neo Fascists like “W” Bush and company, or by some vengeful, perpetually premenstrual male God represented by a preacher in a thousand dollar suit and too much blow dried hair threatening the congregation with eternal Hellfire (and much Bible bashing) if they don’t completely submit to His (whose?) will.  

To this I say, “Hail Cthulu!”

Seriously, I believe that part of this is the natural human longing for a simpler time.  Over the past few decades, our culture (and that of the world at large) has changed at a logrithmic rate.  Society has evolved– is still evolving–so rapidly that few people have any sense of their “place” in it.  Unlike our grandparents, we seldom spend twenty years in the same house, job or even state.  Our friends change, our social and economic status is on the decline; we have no feeling of true permanence anymore.  And we find this unsettling.

Royalty is permanent.

Well, not really, as the French, American, and Russian Revolutions will attest. But with it’s giant stone castles and fantastic jewelry it sure seems so. A monarchy upholds standards and maintains traditions. It moves forward through the generations. Through the centuries. Possibly through the eons. These are traits that we, a very young (only around two hundred fifty year old) nation in the throes of our own social revolution, covet.  And this, in itself, is not a bad thing.

It’s what we, as Americans, do with that desire that becomes the issue.

This fascination might be treated as a harmless pastime. After all, who isn’t interested in attractive, young, impossibly rich people with normal figures, receding hairlines, and bizarre taste in headwear?  This wedding was akin to visiting a sociological zoo. My Pomeranian (favorite pet of Queen Victoria, by the way), found the spectacle interesting.  Our fascination only becomes a problem when we attempt to incorporate that thinking into our own societal makeup.  It’s when we elevate others–our elected representatives, judges, or celebrities–to a status where they lack accountability to those they represent (us) that this becomes a problem.  Our founding fathers worried about this, which is why the United States of America is a Democratic Republic, instead of a true democracy.  It’s why we have an Electoral College and require our presidents to be born in this country. This is why we have a written template of what we, the people, stand for.

We call it the Constitution of the United States.  Anything else is just smoke, mirrors, and eye candy.  It would be good for us to remember it…

Thank you for reading…

Welcome to the Devolution. Or, Back to the Fifties.

Good Morning,

      In case you haven’t heard, rumor has it that, as of 12:01 tomorrow morning, our government will no longer have an active budget in effect and will be forced to shut down “unnecessary” services and stop issuing payment for just about everything else.  This includes nonpayment of our military forces, both here and serving abroad, state subsidies, and I’m willing to bet, tax refund checks. What this does not cover, is Congressional (and Presidential) salaries and perks.

     All because Congressional Republicans are in a tizzy over–get this–pap smears.

     That’s right, the right wing whackadoodles in Congress have decided to completely stop the government until they successfully unfund Planned Parenthood. It isn’t enough that they have made it increasingly difficult for women to access their reproductive rights, now they’re working overtime, literally, to keep routine and necessary medical care from the women who can least afford it.  Including screenings for STD/s and cervical cancer. 

     Welcome to the War on Women. 

     It isn’t enough that a vocal minority has removed federal funding for abortion–a right repeatedly upheld by the United States Supreme Court–even during a time when Democrats controlled the Senate, House of Representatives, and the Presidency.  The new health care bill doesn’t even allow insurers to pay for abortion care. Thank you Mr. President, for throwing half of the population–and over half of your constituents–under the bus.  This same vocal minority now wants to completely remove Planned Parenthood from the Federal Rolls. 

     If I was a true fiscal conservative, I might, in theory, support this. After all, I might argue that the government has no business funding any non-governmental agency.  Unfortunately, this is not an attack on government spending. These same individuals voted to increase funding on unsuccessful “abstinence only”  reproductive (mis)education in public schools.  This is about seizing the United States Government, removing fifty years of women’s rights , and recreating our country in their own warped and outdated image.

     How these mostly middle aged white men must hate us.  They’re threatened by the smallest things–our wombs, our fertility, our vaginas.  But mostly I think, they are threatened by our brains. Over fifty percent of all college graduates are women. Same for the professional and graduate programs. Women are less likely to be unemployed–even in this economy.  We are succeeding.  And, we are increasingly doing it without a man in the house.  Even though we still make roughly seventy-one cents for every dollar made by a man.

     By denying us access to affordable reproductive care, they are essentially sending us back into the kitchen. Where we are no longer in competition for a piece of the community pie because repeated pregnancies makes it virtually impossible to have a professional career, an education, or even a life outside the home.  Where we need a man for economic survival.  It returns us to that place where we constantly live in fear. It returns us to back alleys where we hope the person really IS a med student and knows what s/he’s doing.  In short, they want to send women back sixty years.  Back to second class status.

     Maybe some good will come out of this whole mess.  Maybe moderate women will stop seeing these individuals as viable candidates and recognize them for what they really are.  Maybe they’ll begin to support candidates who conform to a more equality oriented agenda.  Maybe they’ll stop patronizing anti woman business (Domino’s Pizza comes to mind) Maybe they’ll start protesting. Heck, it worked in the sixties, when our foremothers did it.  Now we have the internet (until some governmental agency shuts it off). This should make it easier to organize.  Maybe women will engage in some healthy self interest and put their rights first.  (Okay, this one may be too much to ask–women seldom put themselves first. )

    We need to do something because this is a coup.  In the next twenty four hours we’ll discover who in Washington really supports equality for all its citizens and who considers a woman’s right to self determination “expendable.”  I only hope that it’s not too late.

Thank you for reading.

Barack Obama: Commander-In-Chief or CEO of USA, Inc.?

     Two days ago President Obama officially announced his plan to run for reelection.  This came as no surprise to anyone, I’m sure, since he’s been running for president for almost three years after he was first elected. I mean, he must be still running.  After all, he certainly doesn’t behave like the leader of the Free World.  More like a corporate CEO whose job is on tenterhooks and must please his board (read, congress), at all costs, all the while throwing the employees (read, us) under the bus. Which would hardly be noticed, were he heading a multi-national. Unfortunately, the American people hired him to do a different job; he’s supposed to represent us.

     As an attorney and former professor of Constitutional Law he should know this.  He was elected with virtually no experience, mostly on the romanticised “we want Camelot back” view of baby boomers and the, “he’s young and not an emotionally unstable female republican” view of their progeny.  None of this has turned out to be the case. For the record, the oft-quoted “Camelot” of the Kennedy years was, for the most part, a sham. Kennedy was a religious conservative who chased anything in a garter belt.  The Civil Rights Act and subsequent supportive legislation was all finessed through by JFK’s successor, Lyndon Johnson after that fateful day in Dallas.  Kennedy also sent the first troops intoVietnam.  Johnson just inherited the subsequent mess.  And lost his political career over it.

     To any student of history, Barack Obama, to pardon the pun, is no Jack Kennedy.  Unlike Kennedy’s Noveau Riche family, Obama was born to a single parent of modest means. His grandparents sent him to a prestigious prep school where he learned to make friends and be accepted by individuals far beyond him on the socioeconomic ladder. He has been courting those individuals ever since. This “courtship” has led him to the highest political office in the land. It is also why I call him a “stealth republican.”

     Barack Obama has ignored or directly violated every one of his campaign promises, all the while signing some of the most pro-business law in history. 

     He promised to repeal the Patriot Act, a largely unconstitutional group of laws allegedly designed to prevent terrorism but actually set up by the previous administration to suspend individual constitutional rights. He extended it. As an added bonus, he promised to close Guantanimo Bay prison, where people have been held and tortured for years in complete disregard of our constitutional principles.  After four years, Gitmo is still open. Instead of the open and somewhat fair trials promised in Federal Court, he’s sending them to secret Military Tribunals, with little or no access to independent counsel.  That alone is worthy of the Bush Administration. But I digress.

     Barack Obama also asserted that he would remove us from that morass in the Middle East.  Last I checked, we were still in Iraq. We now have an enlarged presence in Afghanistan, and we are bombing Libya.  This is bleeding us dry both on the battlefield and in our national budget.  He turned his back on an American and Israeli ally of thirty years in Egypt–actually threw him under the bus. Now only the Egyptian military stands between the people and another fundamentalist Islamic state. Brilliant move, if you support the Mullahs.

     That’s nothing compared to what he’s done to his constituents.  He passed the largest corporate health care giveaway in history. Soon, all Americans will be required to carry health insurance. Instead of having a basic national health policy, with additional tiers that private insurers could carry, we have to purchase it from a private company. Because everyone six hundred dollars or more a month to spend on health insurance.   Especially the roughly eighteen percent unemployed, because we know that their benefits–those who still receive them– will stretch to cover the mortgage, food, and COBRA.  For me, the most interesting part of this bill is the fact that Obama chose to use the IRS as the agency responsible for its enforcement.  You remember the IRS, that tax agency with ready access to your place of employment and all of your financial assets. And no legal requirement to honor your constitutional rights.

Yeah…

     One of his first acts as President was a multi-trillion-dollar bailout of this nation’s banking system.  By borrowing money–mostly from the Chinese–to do this, he essentially turned our great-grandchildren into debt slaves. To the Chinese…Who make all our stuff…Hmmm…Did I mention that it would have been cheaper to bail out every person with an account in jeopardy?  After all this money, did the financial institutions involved actually changed their spendthrift ways? Nope, they kept their posh corporate retreats and multi-million dollar bonuses. Paid for by the United States taxpayer.  And their great-grandchildren.

     Which brings us to the impending government shutdown.  The Republican controlled congress wants to balance the budget by unfunding npr, Planned Parenthood, and health care for the poor and elderly(ironic, isn’t it?) while abolishing both capital gains and corporate taxes.  In short, move the government cheese to those who need it–rich multi-national corporations with net incomes of over ten million dollars who employ few here because they have, for the most part, move their production and customer service operations overseas. Already, the press (conveniently owned by the same corporations) are discussing how a government shutdown would be bad for business.  Let’s see if our President does the job the average citizen hired him to do or if he caters to those who really elected him.  I’m betting on the latter.  Because he’s still trying to win the approval of the rich (Republican) kids. Because he has become one of the rich (Republican) kids.

Must be nice to have a friend like Obama in Washington. Pity I’ll never know.

Thanks for reading.

Shoe Whore

Good Morning. This is my first attempt at blogging so you”ll just need to bear with me (or stop reading, your choice).

So, over tea (with waaay too much sugar–should switch to lower cal coffee), I decide to go into my closet and look for a black tank to wear to the gym. This is not a walk in, but one of those narrow nooks euphamistically referred to a “closet” by the builders of my postage stamp sized San Francisco apartment. Anyway, as I slide the door open, I hear a scraping noise that could only be one thing.

Yep, too late, Three shoe boxes break loose from their neatly organized stack and tumble to earth, breaking open nicely on my head and scattering their contents all over my floor. You would think that six shoes wouldn’t make much of a mess. You would be right, six shoes wouldn’t. However, since I have such a small apartment and storage is at such a premium, I had at least two pairs of shoes in each boot box. With some judicious planning, I can fit at least 2 pairs of boots and a pair of pumps in each. Thus, sixteen lovely shoes exploded into my room. Fortunately, my ten pound Pomeranian, Princess Hester Persimmon the Naughty (don’t ask) made her escape when she heard the squeaking. Sad to think that my dog”s smarter than I am. But this is often the case. Of course, she doesn’t wear shoes. I bought her a pair once, she laughed.

Ever hear a Pom laugh??? Humiliating.

As I was cleaning up the designer mess, I considered the bizarre and tortured relationship I (and most heterosexual women) have with footwear.  We have shoes for every occasion: Some of us have shoes for every outfit. Some of us, more than i pair per outfit. That first pair just didn’t work and they were expensive and sooo cute and i’m sure i can find SOMETHING to wear with them.  Every woman reading this knows the story. In my recent move from Albuquerque, NM, to Martinez, CA, I had two huge Rubbermaid containers filled with shoes. OK, in one i had a few gym clothes as well. All in all, I have moved 50 pairs of shoes. I still have 2 pairs of gym shoes, 2 pairs of snow boots, sandals, slippers, and assorted other shoes in my old house just waiting to be moved.

Shoes tell our story. While i was married, i lived in gym shoes and slip ins. Now, I usually wear boots, except when i’m at the gym. Widowhood has required more emancipated footwear, i guess. 

Shoes change our lives. We walk through life in them, they’re our contact point with the earth. They make us taller, fitter, and prettier (in our minds), and more capable. They tell a story. I still have the shoes i got married in. Made of lace and encrusted with pearls, i had them sealed with my wedding dress and veil. On a post-it i wrote, “in case of emergency, break glass.” I meant a shoe emergency. I couldn’t care less about the dress.

Shoes assuage our vanity. Even if we’ve gained a couple of pounds and our clothes don’t hang well, our shoes still rock. We can buy shoes when we’re fat. I mean, who’s ever heard of, “fat shoes” and “skinny shoes”? You sure can’t say that about jeans, or that perfect lbd for that matter.

In assuaging our vanity, our shoes can make us lame. High heels, tight toes, can cause everything from back problems to bunions. And yet we gladly sacrifice our skeletal health on the backs of that gorgeous little pair of Manolos. Most of us (me included)would rather be mugged in high heels that make self defense or retreat impossible then wear sensible (read:ugly) footwear that might give us a fighting chance.

After all, who wants to be seen in ugly shoes?

In the time it’s taken for me to finish this blog, I have acquired another three pairs of gym shoes. This does not alleviate my closet crowding issues.Ultimately, I decided to get a larger apartment to deal with my burgeoning shoe collection. I’ll have a second bedroom with a second closet by the end of April. Think i’ll turn it into a shoe closet. After all, who needs clothes when you have the right shoes???

Thanks for reading…

So She’s Overweight, Get Over It!

As the Chinese say, we live in interesting times. Our country is divided, more divided than at any time other than just prior to the oddly named “Civil” War. Virtually every national election is hotly contested and often decided by a recount. Our population is divided right down the middle on such things as abortion, war, constitutional rights, and school prayer. Now we have a new issue, Michele Obama’s weight.

Yep. There’s not enough hateful rhetoric flying back and forth between the political polarities on serious issues, we need to discuss the First Lady and her ability to fill out a pair of mom jeans. Rush Limbaugh, the formerly chubby political pundit who greatly benefited from Oxycontin Diet himself, has deigned to call Ms. Obama fat. As I can gather (since I don’t listen to the man), he was calling her a hypocrite for supporting a healthy kids initiative that included fresh fruits, veggies and exercise.

The NERVE of that woman! I mean, really! Her attempt to make produce available to inner city children–whose grocery stores don’t sell it–and suggest that all children should get at least 30 minutes of exercise per day is obviously unreasonable. Isn’t that what he’s saying and his conservative listeners (many of whom are overweight themselves) are repeating?

Or is there something deeper going on here?

Perhaps this group –mostly comprised of working class people–is tired of what they perceive as a group of elitists telling them how to live their lives. Maybe they remember Obama’s discussion about how difficult it was for them to pay for violin lessons–on Three Hundred Thousand Dollars per year? Maybe they feel that these “limousine liberals” who have never done an honest day’s physical labor in their lives look down on them? That the elite are preaching to people while sacrificing their jobs on the altar of a “global economy? I could go on, but  I think you’ve gotten the idea…

Maybe the monumental hypocrisy goes a bit beyond Mrs. Obama’s waistline. Admit it folks, she definitely has one. And a rather large set of hips that swing along with it. We will never see our First Lady model swimsuits in a Victoria’s Secret catalog. This is not the problem. Many conservative women are overweight. It’s the patronizing,”I know better than you.” attitude that pervades this whole Administration that’s causing the problem. 

Had Mrs Obama climbed off her high heeled lawyer pumps long enough to notice, she could have used her own figure issues and her concern for her children to open an honest discussion of children’s weight and health in our country. Because she has a point. Type 2 diabetes is endemic in this country, puberty is beginning earlier for girls, and all of this has to do with body weight.  This is a bigger problem among the poor–who have decreased access to healthy foods and medical care– than the wealthy. So, these hardworking economically deprived people–who see their whole lives hanging by a thread– see this as just another rich b*tch calling their children fat. Except, she’s not so skinny herself.

Mrs Obama should partner up with the President and Congress to increase funding for food stamp programs. To provide travel vouchers for the working poor to travel to farmers markets where they can make healthier choices. To fully fund public schools so they’re not dependent upon the Pepsi & Coke machines they have in the halls. Then replace the sodas with healthy choices like fresh fruit, yogurt, and bottled water. 

Finally, she should discuss this issue in terms of her own weight.  Oprah Winfrey has built a career upon her challenges and people love her for her honesty. Drop the elitist crap, roll up her sleeves, and help put the infrastructure in place to make their dietary and medical opportunities available to everyone. In this way, it would truly be a dialogue and not just another salvo in America’s class war. You never know, our children might actually benefit.

Happy International Asperger’s Day. Don’t hug me!

Good Morning Friends,

While checking my Facebook this morning, the first thing i noted was a post from ThinkGeek.com announcing today, February 18, as International Asperger’s Day. Asperger’s Syndrome, for those of you living in caves (which means you probably have it), is an extremely mild form of autism. A woman named Temple Grandin explains it far better than i. You can find her on You Tube. Besides being female, Ms Grandin and i have something in common–we share the same “malady.”

Yep, that’s right, I have Asperger’s. This may come as a surprise to anyone who knows me. Not those closest to me, of course, but my acquaintance friends–those people i contact on a semi regular basis. The same people who would be shocked to realize that i’m an introvert. That i don’t enjoy shaking hands, or physical contact with strangers. And most of you are strangers.

Don’t take this personally. i’m easily overstimulated and when you touch me, your soul, or life force or whatever, becomes overwhelming. I’m empathic, many of us are. It compensates for my discomfort with spoken communication. My discomfort tends to increase with my stress levels, so don’t touch me unless i invite it. If i touch you, be honored because i consider you worth my trust.

As i’ve said, i can get overstimulated. i don’t like bright flashing lights or loud noises. i hate telephones. i’m a visual learner so talking to me over the phone about something important–like a list of charges on my credit card statement–is torture, especially if i can’t take notes. I simply can’t grasp it or verbal orders. I’m firmly convinced that the internet was invented by people like me so we could all communicate. I now have an Android phone with an unlimited everything contract. I can text and use the Internet to my heart’s content We Aspies should be issued one of these at birth.  This and social networking sites have opened up the world for people like me. We can interact, and do business without the trauma of physical contact.

My phobia of touch does not extend to animals. I love them. I get them better than most people get me. I have always had a dog, and i can’t imagine life without one.  I feel a great sense of peace when I touch a pet, and my dog can usually be found either next to me or at my feet, my pedicured toes rubbing her soft fur. My first move when i wake is to reach out and touch her. My second is to check my facebook.

You might wonder how I can tolerate pedicures when i hate being touched by strangers. I can honestly tell you–i don’t know. I don’t like manicures and massage can be torture. But Pedicures, they’re ok. Maybe i just like the bright red polish reflecting back in the light. It cheers me up and brings back my focus when I dive off “Planet Earth” into my own underwater realm.  Mermaids don’t have feet. 

I’m like a crow; I love shiny things. I’m always finding jewelry and coins on the ground. Sparkle draws me. I can spot a diamond earring halfway across a crowded gym. Of course I’m usually looking down, eye contact can be too stressful on some days and in some situations. Of course, it distracts me as well. So if you’re trying to talk to me while wearing lots of diamonds and have beautiful shiny acrylic nails. I may not be listening as well as i should…So slow down and stop gesticulating, for Goodness sake! Inside voices please. And listen to my answers. I speak slowly (don’t like speech, remember?) so let me finish my thought before you respond. Don’t but in, it just confuses and annoys me. You have no idea how many relationships i avoid because the people involved do these things. This, also, is magnified by an increased stress level.  

I’m very tactile. I love things that “feel” good. Like cashmere (I could dress a small country in my sweaters), silk, and really soft cotton. Real leather boots rock my world. I don’t do scratchy, so i can’t sleep in low thread count sheets unless they’re cotton jersey or flannel. Cheap sheets overstimulate me and not in a good way. My bed, with its winter flannel sheets and velvet comforter, is worthy of an Archduchess.  The mattress i’m sleeping on here in my Cali apt is uncomfortable. It’s only plush and I’m accustomed to double pillowtops.  The colors i choose are beautifully muted blues and earthtones. Helps me sleep.

I love stained glass. I have 6 tiffany style lamps in my tiny apartment. All in blues, greens & purples–the colors of the ocean. I just love the way the light shines through them. I digress…

See how easy that was???

Anyway, why am i telling you this? What is the point of all of this self disclosure? I don’t want the attention, if that’s what you’re thinking. I did this to help you and i (and maybe people like me) communicate more effectively. Maybe I’m tired of “normal” society treating me like i’m broken. I’m not. I’ll blow you out of the water on an IQ test, i can take apparantly unrelated concepts and connect them in a cogent fashion, and can spot bullshit a mile away.  I can also make you think i’m an extrovert when, in truth, most social groupings make me want to chew off my own arm to escape. That makes me a consummate actress. Can you pretend to be me for a day?  Probably not.

It’s people like me who are redesigning the world. Chaos theory, fuzzy reasoning, relativity, Facebook (come on Mark, admit it). Maybe we’re not “different.” Maybe we’re the next step in human evolution.

Thank you for reading…

Hello world!

Evidently, this is my first post. Even though I’ve already published another blog before this one, this is my first post according to WordPress.  A bit Orwellian, but ok. 

According to my mother, I was a breech birth. I say this because we take all birth and family information on faith, unless we have dna tests or video to prove it. I have neither, so I’m taking my mother’s word on how i entered the world. But, if i did indeed enter the world backwards, it would explain why this, my “first” blog has become my second.

So i guess this is my, “getting to know me” missive. Let’s see…I’m somewhere between age 30 and death (nearer the former, I hope!). I presently live in the San Francisco Bay area. I moved here from Albuquerque in October. I still question the sanity of that decision. I traded a lovely home in a quiet suburb with a large social circle nearby for a postage stamp sized apartment with most of my friends located at least an hour away.  I miss my friends and my quieter life. Most of all, i miss my closets. My dog misses the courtyard where we had our morning tea and having her own room.

I guess we can safely say i miss Albuquerque. Let’s just add it to the other things i miss.

Like a normal life. I’m widowed and presently between jobs. I’m living on life insurance and have recently started asking the question,”At what point does my ‘transitional state’ become permanent?” I used to be a self-employed life coach. I left my last location two years ago and except for a couple of short term assignments, I’ve done nothing. Which was ok, according to my therapist. I was, “healing.” Well, I’m still healing but thanks to the sub-prime loan fiasco I’m healing while living on my principal.  I find this unacceptable. Especially since some of my “friends” think i’m some kind of human atm. I don’t mind helping people out, but this is getting ridiculous. 

Why is it when you have money, the people you’ve known all your life treat you differently??? Some feel uncomfortable and ignore you,. They no longer want to go out to dinner or have coffee (even at the same places you have always enjoyed), or come for a visit (even at the same house). Others feel such soul killing envy that they have a need to spend their whole time passively or agressively sniping at everything you have or like. Or, they treat you like the aforementioned atm. I guess i could understand it if i had a new palatial estate, a luxury car, or plastic surgery. I did buy an investment house and some new boots but other than that, my life has remained pretty much the same. I drive the same cars, shop at the same stores, pretty much live the same life.

You know, i could use their help; not their derision.

Anyway, that’s my “first” blog. I’ve never liked beginnings. Endings are more my style. I always want to see how things turn out. Like this blog. Should be interesting…

Thanks for reading…